Last updated on 3 April 2019 at 12:13 pm
Does it get tiresome, having to constantly show up to your Grandma’s house? Having to suffer through the endless amounts of food that she piles on your plate? Dealing with the endless affection and worldly advice she provides to you? Well fortunately there’s a solution. Teach Grandma to type, and the digital world is her oyster.
Here are the top four reasons to teach Grandma to type:
1. She’ll be able to use Email. Email lets you skip the three week wait time between messages, and might even keep her from screaming from the balcony at people in the street below. Why bother to strain my vocal chords, granny thinks, when I could just send a strongly worded email? What with all the various platforms to choose from and all the people she’ll be able to add to her address list. There’ll be no more need for her and her friends to hang out in person over tea as they chat about sweet nothings. Instead, they can enjoy the comforts of home while maintaining the gossip circle in full swing 24/7. Without you having to hear what they think of your latest significant other.
2. Wikipedia lets her learn whatever she wants with the click of a button. Once she has access to the most accurate encyclopedia known to man she’ll be fact checking everything you say, and coming back with interesting little tidbits of her own. Soon you’ll be receiving emailed lectures on everything from the Defenestration(s) of Prague (which happened just before she was born), to the ocelots mating rituals, to calculating trigonometric ratios. There’ll never be a dull moment when she’s able to learn about everything around her in such incredibly fine detail.
3. She can sign up for video streaming services. Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, and Youtube. All these will soon be accessible to Grandma so that she won’t need to bother with the advertisements which keep interrupting her favourite programs. Soon you won’t be able to drag her away from the screen as she marathon watches Game of Thrones. If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll even share her account details with you so that you can watch for free as well. Popcorn time!
4. Facebook lets her seamlessly keep in contact with all her friends at once, and she probably won’t be around for long enough to have the data harvested from her come back to bite. Do you get bored of how in-tune all your friends comments are on your posts? Trust me, granny will shake things up. There will be no more monotony as every time you post you’ll receive an entire update on her life since you last saw her, as well as a breakdown of how the last two world wars went, and where she was when Napoleon died. Look forward to seeing profile pictures which are so blurry they’re almost artistic, status updates on how the latest kind of cookie tastes, and messages reminiscing on events which happened twenty years ago, if at all.
Written by Marcomms Intern, Jack Seaberry.